Not listening

Apparently I’m not listening. To something or someone. The dreams are jumbled but it seems clear my subconscious is trying to relay this message to me.

The other night, it seems as if I was trying to meet up with my wife but she was leaving notes for me and was one step ahead. Sort of like a treasure hunt but I remember being a tiny bit (not a lot) frustrated that I was not getting to where she was. Though I remember that the feeling I got from this was that my wife was not mad at me. Unfortunately, in my dreams, I find that she is unhappy with me lots of the time. I sometimes wake in the morning and remember that she still loves me. This dream-state is something I think about often.

I was driving an old car (30s or 40s). I was pretty proud of it working well. The tires were good which matters because this was winter. The road was snowy but had been plowed. While going up a hill, I felt like I was in the Flintstones mobile. The car just wasn’t cutting it. I was surprised, checked the tires, and it continued to just eek along. I pulled into a gas station of sorts. And crawled over some junk before I was met with a dog who tried to get me to take a leash. I understood that this dog was some sort of proxy for the mechanic but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with the car so I kept telling him “good dog, I don’t know yet.” I wanted the dog to give the leash to someone else that had come up. The dog went over to the other person and for some reason I followed. The gentleman took the leash and all of the sudden I could understand the dog. Being very polite asking what was wrong with the vehicle. He told the guy he’d make sure the mechanic took a look.

Dream moved on. Very strong dream. I was paying attention to this one.

Last night: Another dream came along and for some reason I paid attention. Probably because somewhere in there was my dad. I force myself to pay attention when he comes around if only for a chance to talk with him.

There was more in front of this…but when I came in a guy that I knew as someone important in my family (like The Boss?? but not) told me that I wasn’t getting it; that I wasn’t listening. He was mad and said that since I wasn’t listening I had to do “this.” He handed me a pile of greeting cards and told me that I needed to give them to the right person for the right event. They were for events; birthdays and such, going back years. Each of them had little notes, scraps of paper, in front of them detailing something like why he wanted to give them to a certain person. I had to figure out what and who. I can almost remember what each of them said. Some of the cards were clearly from a long time ago. I read all the little notes. Somehow they got out of order or I dropped them. Ugh. I walked out of the bedroom, the gentleman was sitting at a table relaxing with friends drinking wine and ignoring me as I walked through which I thought was odd since we had just talked.

I found Arielle sitting in a chair and my mom sitting on a bed in another room. My dad was in the bathroom so I’d get to see him if I waited. My mom all of the sudden curls up in a blanket, rolls in it, tight as a pig in a blanket and rolls roughly onto the floor and across the room and slams into the fireplace at the end of the room. She doesn’t look happy. I commented to Arielle, who was ignoring me, that mom was looking pretty spry for someone of 72 to bounce along the floor like that.

End of dream…

autumn’s arrival

I heard autumn arrive last night
Always on a restless wind
Confused, noisy
Needles afoot
Golden leaves quaking
Cooler skies under a wheeling zodiac
I feel the change too
Time to gather and hunt
A time to prepare
To become one with the endless cycle
To dance again as moons wander
over the amber grass

bending geometries

apophysis-090604-1a3
Like a rock in calm water
Long ago a ripple started off across the cosmos
Born of colossal forces
Unimaginable power
A giant vibration
Nearer the beginning
Bouncing spacetime
Bending geometries

Is gravity’s sea so serene
That eons later
An ear hears just barely
A slight flutter
As a butterfly on wing

Barely a splash across an ocean
A tiny quivering echo lost in time

wind

Dreams are like the wind
Tied to emotions
Calm breezes at times
Warm sand, smooth seas
Other times wild wandering gusts
Changing seasons
Cooler nights
Beware the gale
Red skies in morning
Wrecked days